Finally, I've got the time to update.

NP Open House was... Hmm... Something quite meaningful for me this year. I helped to build and tie the structure and the flagpole which our NPOB flag flew high upon. =) Went down on all four days and got myself sunburnt. Though it got me injured and all, it was definitely one of the best times to help OB out. I learnt so many things, and rekindled my knowledge of knots. =) I'm so proud of everyone who came down to help and, especially, myself. *grinz* Saw CDSS people on Thursday - Mr Terence and Mr Roy Tan. Told Mr Terence about NPOB and he was so impressed and he couldn't imagine how much I've changed. =p

Once upon a time, a girl from a very Village I-Don't-Care chanced upon Village We-All-Care while doing chores for her evil stepmother. The girl decided to stay in Village We-All-Care as everyone seemed to be so wonderful to her. A few months past by in a flash. No one from her old village asked for her - no one cared. The girl did not care too as she was extremely happy in her new home. She had new found friends who seem to be genuinely concerned for her well-being. She was satisfied and contented. She told herself that one day, she will give her all and return the kindness to everyone. She had an aim to share this kindness that the villagers showed to her to new comers.

However, one fateful day, things came all crashing down around her within a flash. She was being condemned for making one mistake - a mistake she regrets making. She is repentent. But, alas, everyone showed their true colours - they cursed her and accused her of every vile thing that could ever be said. Even though they were 'nice' in front of her, their hatred for her manifested in their eyes and facial expressions. No one wanted to associate with her. She became invisible... Suddenly in their eyes, she had become the bad girl. No matter what good she showed, they refused to admit it, and bore grudges. They had closed minds, the girl could see - you can tell what the person is feeling by her eyes... Everyone was a fake. She was never given a chance to show her gratitude, her love for them, and everything else. She was utterly devastated and cried every single time she thought of it. No amount of comfort could ease her pain... She had lost her only solace, her only friends.

What can she do?

She decided...

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I'll leave...

Yock Teng says I'm like a bamboo stick*. The time is 2.29pm. I'm at the library supposedly doing my homework**. Now he's asking me to eat more. (^@^)

*the original word was 'fat'. He changed it. *haha*
** but I'm being distracted by the "lassup" person. *keke* Kidding.

Humph!

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...

But I still love you anyways. *hee*

I just woke up and I'm hungry. Someone please cook for me.

It's definitely been such a long while since my last blog entry. Hmm... Bernard, it's not because I'm with Teng that's why I don't blog ok. It's because I am too lazy. Or as Amanda says, I'm busy - doing nothing. *haha* And I beg to differ - I don't neglect my friends ok. *sobs*

Yeap. A whole new year has begun. School's fine. I've been really doing my work, and I'm taking it very seriously. I have learnt my lesson. I have new aims. *haha* Don't laugh.

- to be a better girlfriend;
- to eat everything and anything;
- to give my all and take it a step further;
- to try to keep my sarcasms to myself; and
- to be an all-rounder.

There's so many things that I wanna do this year. I feel a new motivation in me that wants to try everything and anything. I think the recent tsunami occurance has put me into perspective. Life is short. Why don't I do what I want to do? What do I have to lose? Besides being involved in OB, I hope to be further involved in other things. Things like being a GL for Sports Camp, helping out in the Outrace and Open House, doing my part in BA CARES (ServeSabah'05), applying for courses (abseiling, sports climbing, canoeing), and trying out certain things. There's so much that I will like to share with others. So many things that I want to do, so many things I want to learn. Learning - that's what we all do everyday. But we do not realize that we have so much more to learn about life. People may think that I'm crazy. But Poly life is full of opportunities. It's how you make use of them.

Albeit all that, I really wish that none of my time with Teng will be sacrificed. Though it's hard to be certain, but I will try my best. Unlike what everyone thinks, I am not always with him. He has too many things on his mind, that I don't wanna add on any pressure. I love him too much to do that. Instead, I wish to continue giving my support and being there for him always. The funny thing is that I always miss him when he's not by my side. Even if I just happen to see him. Gosh. =D Happy 2nd Month, my dear. I'm proud of you. =) Remember to take things a step at a time. Then you'll slowly see the big picture. Love you, silly.

I'm off to bed now. My darn BStats teacher is mad. Asking us to do our homework on Excel. WTH! How do you expect us to do standard variation on Excel? I mean... There's even no sign for 'mean of x', or whatever it's called. Spent so long trying to do it yesterday... Sheesh. Will do it later again. Take care my friends. Thanks for being my avid fans. *haha*

Happy Birthday to Me...
Happy Birthday to Me...
Happy Birthday to Meeeee...
Happy Birthday to Me!

Yay! It's my birthday! *hehe* (ok... So I backtracked a little...) I'm 18!

Where did I go? Secret. *haha* But I can only say that it was the most mind-numbing experience for a birthday - period. I totally enjoyed myself. I stayed overnight somewhere with someone and it was definitely the best present he could ever give me - his time and attention. =) Thank you dear. *muackz*

Mum brought me and grandma out to the Oriental Hotel to have Mediterranean food. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly great either. The most embarassing point was when all the waiters and waitresses came out and sang me a birthday song. Gosh. The entire restaurant was like singing together and stuff... Ok. So I felt like an apparent TOMATO but it was their well-thought effort after all.

But I felt a little disappointed. People whom I thought will celebrate my birthday with me didn't. What has our friendship become? It's not because I have Teng that means I don't need you guys... *sighs* And Ming is so busy with her Ah Boy too... Rina's working... and Ting's busy too...

Hmm... Being 18 isn't exactly great. I mean, it's not something to be so damn excited about. Yeap. I reflect upon my 18 years and I think... What achievements have I accomplished? I don't think, what failure have I obscured? These various achievements mould me into what I am today. I don't think being arrogant is one of them. =p But on a more serious note: I am proud of my achievements and I will not trade anything that has happened to me in my whole entire life for anything else.

This is me.

It's a whole new year again. Time seemed to zoom past so fast that I can't catch my breath. In this year... So many new happenings... Be it worldwide, internally, or whatsoever.

Gosh.

Can't really update much now. Will do so when I get back home tomorrow. =) Off to see my sweetie now. Wonder what he has up in store for my birthday... *hehe*

In the meantime, thanks to Siao Ying, Aza, and Jing. =) I love you guys. Yup. Really appreciate you guys being there for my birthday, and remembering it. *hahas* Thanks for the puzzle you guys made me, and the balloon, and the cake that you bought me. I will cherish it! It has really been one of the best birthday celebrations ever. *muackz* I will find a place to put up the puzzle. Fret not! =)

Thanks to everyone else too! To Jia Hui and Shi Ni for buying me the nicest cake! *hahas* What a wonderful surprise! =)

Anyways, wishing everyone else a wonderful start to a new year, and hope that it is filled with hope, love, happiness, surprises, contentment, and everything else that you wish for. May your dreams come true this year!

A gracious welcome to 2005. 2004 are now memories worth cherishing. =)

Just five minutes ago, I was having a bad heartache. There were so many thoughts going through my mind. Things that should not have even been thought.

But it's over. I'm all right now. Just a little attention from you made my bad feelings go away... Understand what I mean, now? All I needed was a little more attention, and reassurance. That's how I am.

I'm sorry for just now. It's just that we haven't really talked lately, and I miss our talks. Our heart-to-heart talks. Our share of stories, happiness and everything. You know? *hugs* Maybe you're right. Maybe I think too much. But I do have my reasons... And I believe that you will understand. I believe in you, and me.

But I'm all right now... I'm just waiting to see you in... Approximately 12 hours from now. We'll have lunch together, all right?

Guess I'm not going to sleep so soon. Uploading my CDs into my Mac so I can upload it into my iPod. Feeling so nostalgic listening to the 80s. Stuff like 'Big In Japan',

Will be 18 in four days. What have I achieved within this one year...?

There are so many things that I do not want to talk about. So many has happened. It seems that I have grown up by many more years, rather than it just being a year. Things that I often reflect on, so that I can improve myself. However, I've made many many friends during this one year. Made true best friends. And found you...

This time. It's just us. I'm happy that I'll be celebrating my birthday with so many people - Siao Ying, Wei Jing, Azaleas, and especially you... I'm happy that there are people who remembers my birthday. =) It feels special, and nice...

Sweetie (I know, not sweet *hehe*), I love you. Thank you for being with me.

Humans have wishes. Secret wishes of their own that they wish to be fulfilled. Things that they can never have a teeny grasp of it - the forbidden fruit. Anything can be the forbidden fruit; be it sneaking out at night to party all night long, buying something that your parents forbid of - anything.

I wish... If only I could wish... If only I had the power to make my wishes come true...

If only...

I could be with you every minute of the day...

If only...

I wouldn't be so afraid of losing you...

If only...

If only...

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I really miss you so much. I'm the happiest when I'm with you.

-heartaches-

It's Christmas!

Jolly season of giving... (and receiving). *hahas*

Mum cooked a wonderful Mediteranean dinner tonight for us. We were like so freakin full! Darling and I wanted to sleep after that. *hahas* The China staff also came along, and they did some karaoke-ing in the living room after that. Darling and I didn't join them cos we had our own session just yesterday. *hehe*

Darling and I gave my grandma a red cheong sam-my top (which she loves so much), and my mum two tops. *hahas* So pleased with our purchased. Darling helped to pick them, and I'm so proud of him! He has good taste, I must say... *haha*

Tired day... Going to bed.

Merry Christmas everyone! I'll see you next week.

*Muackz to darling*